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03-Jan-2017 21:20

Researchers have studied the messages that work and the ones that don’t.

Open questions are best; for instance, “How was your day? ” You want the other person to open up, so you can get a better feel for whether you should meet IRL. Your potential date is looking for ways to filter you out, and overt negativity leaves a memorable impression (not in your favor).

"Men were more attracted to women displaying happiness, like a big smile,” she says.

Hint, hint: Images that show you smiling are always good, according to statistics from Tinder.

are, not just what you want in a significant other.

Use most of your profile to discuss yourself, your hobbies and interests, and your values and temperament.

“While it's exciting to date someone who can help us broaden our horizons, we want to know that we match when it comes to our core ideals, values, and beliefs.” Stating that you look forward to taking several major trips every year or what your religious beliefs are might turn off some people.

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In addition, mentioning something specific from the other person's profile or photo can increase your chance of a positive response. Finally, get off the app and into real life in a reasonable time.

So read their profile and respond to something in it, rather than just sending a generic “I’m so glad we matched! My suggestion is to message for no longer than a day or two on the app, and then if you feel comfortable and want that date, give your phone number and move the conversation to text.

And if the written profile part on a site is more open-ended, fill it out as much as you can.

Unchecked boxes or lots of extra space can make you seem disinterested in really meeting someone—or uninteresting to others.

Cohen, Ph D, psychologist and author of From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love.

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